Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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