You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
