O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
