I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
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This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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