when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
