My pussy is not your playground.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
