Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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