I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
