while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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