This girl is more easily done than said...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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