Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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