He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a hot homeless man
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
high people should be assigned attendants
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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