Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
