I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
