I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
this just has baby written all over it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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