This is not my ceiling
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
