hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
