She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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