Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
