i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
