We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
