i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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