i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
why is half of my head shaved?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
