And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
