oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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