so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
