What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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