dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
