Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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