He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just pee around me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
