I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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