Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
