i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
