nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize