I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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