yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
