Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
