I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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