Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
