it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
