is your mom at the bar?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
