Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
