laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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