put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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