why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
