Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
