I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
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i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
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My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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