david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
