No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
did i walk over a car last night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
