if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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