dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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