but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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