Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
