Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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