the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
