Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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