her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
