Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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