I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
