I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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