So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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