I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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