miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
