Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
