i just google imaged poop.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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