You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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