Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize