whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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