Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
