apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You took a bar mat shot.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
